View topic - Monks Invitation to Pig Picking

[bhorsley]

You Are Cordially Invited and Expected to Attend the 600th Homecoming Banquet and Barbecue
of
� False Albacore University (FAU) � by
The True Secret Order of False Albacorian Monks
Until now, little has been known about the world's finest and most prestigious university. False Albacore University (FAU) was founded 600 years ago, in the year 1415, by the True Secret Order of False Albacorian Monks. Its magnificent campus is located in the limestone caverns under Harkers Island. FAU has no football team, only NCAA Fly Casting. With an endowment of $480 billion (from the sale of albacore flies), it is tuition free. Students cannot apply to False Albacore University: they are chosen.
FAU has produced the greatest thinkers and athletes of the last six centuries. Distinguished graduates include George Washington, Donnie Jones, William Shakespeare, Izaak Walton, Lefty Kreh, Bill Gates, Dolly Parton, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Aretha Franklin, Rachel Carson, and LeBron James. FAU notables who flunked out after their freshmen year at FAU include Tom Brady, Kim Kardashian, Lance Armstrong, Bill O'Reilly, and Donald Trump.
The Monks have demonstrated that four years studying false albacore at Cape Lookout is far superior to any existing humanities or science curriculum. It is known as the "AlbaCORE Curriculum." The designer of our 'CORE curriculum, FAU Chancellor Lefty Kreh, recently stated: "To know the false albacore and its environment is to know physics, chemistry, poetry, biology, meteorology, admiralty, and hydrodynamics. By fishing exclusively for albacore, our graduates never flounder or get the blues."
More inventions and great literature have been created at FAU than at all other universities combined. Inventions developed at FAU include the transistor, Internet, Clouser Minnow, catsup, microwave ovens, solar panel, polio vaccine, graphite fly rod, Wikipedia, FedEx, outboard motors, barbecue, iPhone, drones, and Velcro.
For the fall of 2015, the Monks are predicting epic numbers of false albacore. For this reason, False Albacore University has included on its Homecoming Banquet and Barbecue invitation list all graduates and the world's finest anglers – including you!
Saturday, November 7, 2015, at 6:15 PM
1576 Island Road, Harkers Island, NC
Again, the Monks have chosen as your humble hosts:
Dana Jennings /Tom Earnhardt--Ann Pflugrath/Don Thimsen
The Jones Brothers Marine Gang and Pit Master Fritz "Chuck" Linder
Menu: Gluten-Free Eastern NC Barbecue and Hormone-free, Free-range Chicken B.Y.O.B.&B.: Bring your own Beer and Boat
**Senators, Congressmen and all Presidential candidates will be turned away at the door**

[vagabond Profile]

Someone forgot to log in the patent for the invention of Peanut Butter in 1813.
You missed that one.
The night before when the clock strikes midnight the chant begins like Woodstock:
NO RAIN
NO RAIN
NO RAIN
See you there.
FTB
(Free Tom Brady!!)